thesecretlifeof elowel.org
Welcome 07-18-07 21:49
I have entered a strange chapter in my life.

I have gone my 20 plus years of life on this earth without being stung by a bee. This summer I have been playing frisbee barefoot in a field with many bees around. Two days ago I was sitting in a meeting in my office where my boss droned on boringly, limiting my productivity, when a bee stung me. Indoors. On the ankle. Unprompted. I was sort of upset at how little it hurt. I had spent a long time as a kid being very afraid of bees after seeing my siblings cry in reaction to a sting.

I started playing frisbee after I met a girl. I'm chubby and sort of cute, but she insists I'm not attractive to her. I knew I wasn't her type and yet I wanted to be, so I tried to become her type. I played frisbee for hours after work every day, I went to the gym after frisbee and I tried extra hard to make my teeth shine white and my skin clear and soft. I shaved religiously as she would often complain about my stubble. I began to eat smaller and smaller portions until I was barely eating at all. I don't think my diet was ever unsafe. I never felt weak or even hungry for that matter, but I was definitely eating about 1/3 what I used to in a day.

You read this and you probably think that my strategy would never actually get me this girl. I think I knew that as I was doing it. I'm not sure if the goal was to get this girl or to become the type of guy who could get a girl like this one in the future. Well, regardless, I did end up with the girl for a time.

I just came back from Subway. There was a black family in front of me all in formal attire. A little black boy in a perfectly fitted suit watched as I took out my Zelda wallet. I wanted to hand it to him, but I knew he wouldn't recognize the NES Zelda map imprinted on it. I smiled to myself and thought how much he reminded me of the young Tre Styles from Boyz n the Hood.

I ate a whole foot long to myself and devilishly ordered something that wasn't my norm. I still couldn't bring myself to order something off any part of the menu except the 6 grams of fat or less panel. As I read the napkin I relished in the fact that the sandwich I had chosen had 20 more calories than the one I usually choose. To me, it was like smoking my first cigarette again.

I left for Subway not so much because I was hungry but because I needed to be somewhere other than home. I could hear her laughing down the hallway from her new interest's bedroom. Don't you just love dating your neighbors? I shut my door and tried my best to drown out her infectious and annoying laughter. I went into a bit of a rage from the boredom and the sound pulsing through my living room. I wanted to destroy the Nintendo 64 I never touch, yet seems to almost always have someone sitting in front of it. I wanted to ruin all their fun. I wanted to punch the window and smash the lamp like James did the night he raped my girlfriend.

Strange. I called her my girlfriend. I need to start using some names or you you'll be even more lost than you are. The girl I have been referring to up until this point is Lisa. My girlfriend is Amanda. Amanda isn't my girlfriend at all, actually. Sorry to confuse you. Amanda is the girl I have been rebounding with. It has been pleasant so far and in 2 weeks, we will probably never see each other again. My assignment here ends and she flies back to finish her thesis elsewhere.

I have entered a strange period in my life. The next two weeks should prove interesting and I will attempt to tell as much of my story as I can. The way things change at this point remind me of that bee sting. Quick. Unexpected. Unprompted.